Why almost everyone (i.e. the uninformed, politically-ignorant masses) should stay home this November! Wearing an “I Voted” sticker on Election Day announces that you are a proud participant in the grand tradition of representative democracy, the worst system except all the others. It says “I care,” “I’m informed,” and perhaps also “this shirt is machine […]
by Sean Dempsey, 6/25/23 Once upon a time in a far away land there lived a mercurial king. The people adored their king for the simple reason that he was their king. One day, driven by a peculiar whim, the King passed a decree that all citizens must wear a large hat adorned with a […]
By Sean Dempsey, 04/28/26 We stumbled into the sun like criminals fleeing a sex crime we could not remember committing. It felt like Monday. But time and sanity meant nothing to us in the fog of drink and this sublime orgy of heat-infused alcohol and sin. The El Dorado resort still stretched before us in […]
