by Sean Dempsey, 6/28/23 The damned clock struck 6pm. Again. As it always seemed to do each day with far too few words unwritten—and far too few coherent thoughts on the page. Evelyn was exhausted. Her serene study was tucked away within the corners of her 19th century Victorian home. She had written her last […]
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The spending cuts mandated by the sequester may hamper the United States’s ability to invade countries for absolutely no reason, a Pentagon spokesman warned today. The Pentagon made this gloomy assessment amid widespread fears that the nation’s ability to wage totally optional wars based on bogus pretexts may be in peril. “Historically, […]
BURLINGTON VT—This week the University of Vermont launched a new Texas Hold’em Poker Club for amateur card players and aspiring professionals alike. The new collegiate program boasts over a hundred and sixty-six members (a decade-long record for intervarsity extracurricular participation). The founders of the UVM Poker Club have a unique spin on the game that […]
