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Pentagon: Cuts Could Hamper Ability To Invade Countries For No Reason
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The spending cuts mandated by the sequester may hamper the United States’s ability to invade countries for absolutely no reason, a Pentagon spokesman warned today. The Pentagon made this gloomy assessment amid widespread fears that the nation’s ability to wage totally optional wars based on bogus pretexts may be in peril. “Historically, […]
The Bishop
By Sean Dempsey, 7/15/23 ‘The lives of the benevolent are perhaps the most besieged.’ The Archbishop of Cheshire whispered madly into the darkness as he made his way between foul-smelling passageways and across dirty streets. Hot tears fell from his eyes and he beat his fists against stone walls as he trudged — almost stumbled […]
Sisyphus
By Sean Dempsey8/1/2023 In ancient lands, where legends dwell,A tale of sorrow I now shall tell.Perceive the stone’s eternal path:To be pushed with mirth, or bathed in wrath. With futile toil, his bane and plight,Sisyphus still strives with all his might.See the stone escape his mortal hand,And tumble downward through the land. A cunning mortal, […]