WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The spending cuts mandated by the sequester may hamper the United States’s ability to invade countries for absolutely no reason, a Pentagon spokesman warned today. The Pentagon made this gloomy assessment amid widespread fears that the nation’s ability to wage totally optional wars based on bogus pretexts may be in peril. “Historically, […]
by Sean Dempsey | 06/14/26 There is a temptation, when discussing artificial intelligence, to speak of it as an accident: a clever tool that escaped the garage, a chatbot that wandered into the temple, a spreadsheet that began composing sonnets, a calculator that suddenly acquired opinions. This is comforting, because accidents do not indict us. […]
The screams of children, young and dying—Tear the fabric of our world;Yet old men plead for bombs to fallOn Gaza’s boys and girls. “Their parents voted; the die’s been cast;Fathers’ sins sowed their fate;Their infants must be blown to bits;We must trade hate for hate!” A child of seven kneels before Mars;Her home’s reduced to […]
