WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The spending cuts mandated by the sequester may hamper the United States’s ability to invade countries for absolutely no reason, a Pentagon spokesman warned today. The Pentagon made this gloomy assessment amid widespread fears that the nation’s ability to wage totally optional wars based on bogus pretexts may be in peril. “Historically, […]
Free speech isn’t a difficult concept to understand. It’s literally two words. Free speech. The freedom to say what you wish without censorship or retribution. There must be limitations of course, for example asking someone to break the law. But short of that, if Elon, as he has said, is serious about making Twitter a […]
Here are the three best ways to short the market… Keeping Your Options Open Now, what do we talk about when we talk about short-selling? In its simplest form, shorting means borrowing shares from your broker, selling them immediately, and them buying them back (closing) at a cheaper price. You keep the difference. This process […]
